Needs
by Like A Dove
Summary: When the death of her mother turns her life upside down, Bella turns to the only person who can truly understand, Jacob Black. With the choice of life or death hanging over her head, Bella learns it's not what you want, but what you need. COMPLETE.
1. Call

Chapter One

**Author's note: This is definitely a Jacob/Bella fic, but the first couple of chapters are more Edward/Bella centric because it's post-Eclipse. Thanks for reading, and please review!**

"Here you are, love."

Edward set the plate down in front of her, careful not to mess up the papers scattered across the table. Bella was studying, or trying to. She couldn't seem to pull her eyes away from the vampire walking around the kitchen.

Their kitchen, she corrected herself.

Funny how even though both of their names were on the ownership papers, this apartment still felt like _Edward's, _not hers. Of course, he did most of the cleaning and paid all the bills. Sometimes she would wash her dishes, as she was the only one who used them, but he would usually come along and finish up for her. After all, he got it done much faster.

She groaned. "What am I doing again?"

Edward sat down in the chair beside her. "You're studying…after you eat." He pushed the plate of hand tossed salad towards her. She stared down at it with distaste. "I'm not—"

"You haven't eaten since breakfast. Eat, Bella." It was a command.

So she ate. And then she went back to studying while Edward quietly sat down in the other room and pretended to watch the television. In reality he was watching her. Something was pressing on him. Something he couldn't put his finger on. It was probably nothing, he assured himself. Or it could be everything. But calling Alice right now would distract Bella, and she really needed to study.

It was a miracle in and of itself that they were even where they were. A year ago she had agreed to marry him. Ten months ago she agreed to go to college for a year, maybe two. Bella's mother had insisted. In her mind, Bella was a bit young for marriage and needed to grow up a bit before she made that step. Her mother even flew to Forks from Jacksonville to "talk sense into her". Bella had finally agreed, if she could live with Edward on campus. Bella's mother agreed to that plan. Bella's father…not so much, but some battles you just can't win.

So there they were, at Brown, living the college life.

For now.

"I'm going to take a shower," Bella said. She made her way towards the bathroom they shared, and her eyes wandered over Edward in a way that was almost greedy.

* * *

_Bella,_

_How's college? Are you enjoying your History class? Charlie said you were having some trouble. Sorry, can't help you there! History was never my thing. I prefer English myself. Anyway just wanted to see how living with Edward was going, you never really answer my emails that much—_

Bella started to skim. It was the same thing her mother sent every other day. How's school? How's living with Edward? How's the apartment? Blah, blah, blah. As if so much had changed since the last time Bella had answered. School is good, I enjoy my classes. Living with Edward is great, I see us doing this for the rest of my life. Edward and I take care of the apartment, we're lucky to have it. It was the same old, same old.

Bella couldn't help but resent her mother. If it wasn't for her she would probably be in Alaska right now, drinking penguins. She'd be with Edward in more ways then one, and she'd be his equal—and right now that was the biggest thing.

_Also, and honey I know this isn't really my business, but how's Jacob? Your dad told me something happened between you two? I hope it isn't anything you guys can't patch up. I loved reading what you had to say about him, you two really seemed to have something. I haven't met him yet but maybe one day you can introduce us? It's just, it seemed like he was such a big part of your life. You know sweetie, first loves are great but sometimes it's not what we want but what we need---_

Delete. Backspace. Whatever the fuck got that message to go away the quickest. Bella slammed the laptop closed and pushed her roll-y chair away from the desk. She was shaking.

Fuck. Shit. Had she not told her mother not to talk about _him? _Had her blatant disregard of all previous Jacob messages her mother had sent her not gotten through?!

"Crap." She pushed all thoughts of Jake out of her mind. If she didn't think about him, then she couldn't feel anything towards him. And if she couldn't feel anything towards him—

"Are you coming to bed now, love?"

---then saying "yes" to that wouldn't be nearly as difficult.

"Bella, are you alright?"

Bella gave a sharp nod. "Yeah, I was just reading my mom's email and couldn't think of how to handle it."

Edward froze as the front door opened and then slammed shut. In a flash he flew out of the room. "Alice, what the hell are you saying?!" he yelled.

Bella launched herself out of her chair and, after having to brace herself on the bed, rushed out of the bedroom and into the living room.

Alice and Edward were staring at each other and true horror was etched on their faces. Jasper was standing behind Alice, his hand on her shoulder. Edward slowly turned his head towards Bella, his eyes wide.

"Bella."

She grabbed the back end of their couch and leaned against it. "What's going on?" It was meant to come out strong and stern. She sounded like a mouse.

The phone rang.

Edward and Alice both closed their eyes. Alice crumpled to the floor, her hands twisting through her short hair. She stared for a brief moment at the carpet before saying, "Let her answer it."

"Bella answer the phone." Edward's voice was bleak.

The walk from the couch to the phone was like running a marathon. All three vampires were staring at her with eyes that knew something that she obviously didn't.

"Hello?" Bella answered weakly.

"Oh god, Bell. It's Phil."

"Hi, Phil. Is something---"

"---oh god it's your mom. She's gone. She was in a car accident 'bout an hour ago, and they, and they….they couldn't save her god damnit---"

Bella heard sobbing. Whether it was coming from her or Phil she wasn't sure, as the phone was in the middle of falling from her hand to the floor.


	2. Apathetic

**A/N: Once again, this chapter (which is a little short, sorry!) has quite a bit of E/B in it in order to progress the story. However, I can assure you that after this chapter, Edward won't be around for quite some time. On another note, some very important things happen in this chapter, so pay attention!**

* * *

If Bella never talked on the phone again, she would be happy.

Three hours counseling Phil and getting all the…details. Another hour spent listening to Charlie try and console _her_, which didn't really work as both had to hang up on account of the tears they were both shedding. Forty five minutes talking to the funeral home in Jacksonville (which also ended in tears). Fifteen minutes spent listening to Esme give her condolences and wish her well. Ten minutes listening to Charlie's travel plans for the funeral—he would fly in for two days and one night. Four minutes talking to Billy about Charlie, which ended in Bella asking him to watch over her dad for her in which Billy replied, "He needs _you, _Bella, not me."

And thirty-two seconds listening to him speak one sentence. _Bella, it's Jake. You're hurting…but….I am so sorry…for everything._

Right. So was she.

* * *

Bella hadn't eaten in 27 hours. She knew this because Edward kept reminding her. But food was beyond her right now. Everything was beyond her right now.

So she just laid there in her bed. Every few hours she would get up and do something productive, something that got her mind off of the fact that she was leaving the day after tomorrow to go to her mother's funeral. She would shower, make a phone call, and help Edward pick out the flowers for the bouquet that Edward would send to the funeral home.

Then Phil would call her about the coffin and the headstone for her mother, and Bella would climb back in bed again. Most likely it would take her longer to emerge then it did before.

Edward's siblings had come to stay with them to provide moral support. It was a nice gesture but Bella hardly cared. She just knew that she needed to avoid Jasper. He would ease the pain, but after he left the room the grief would come rushing back in currents. She'd rather feel the continuous ache then have it completely taken away only to rip back into her again and again.

"Bella, darling, you have to eat." Edward practically shoved a Pop-tart into her face. She took a bite, and then put it down. She was leaving for Jacksonville this time the next day, and she was trying to do something besides hiding under the covers.

"I don't want to eat."

She felt Alice's tiny hand rest on her shoulder. "Maybe we could leave the apartment, Bella? Maybe go for a walk? The fresh air will do you some good."

Hiding under the covers sounded great.

"No thanks, Alice. I think I'm going to concentrate on packing up my things. I've got a black dress but I need to figure out a way to pack it without wrinkling it. Edward hasn't packed his things either, but….He'll be more efficient so whatever."

The tension in the air thickened considerably.

Edward gently tilted Bella's face up so she could see into his eyes. "I checked the weather today, and I'll continue to check it, but I don't think I'm going to be able to go."

Bella's hands tightened around the seat of her chair so that she wouldn't fall out of it. "What?" she said.

"It's going to be sunny all week. I can't go Bella." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm letting you down and if there was _any way_ that I could be at that funeral for you----"

Bella barely registered his icy hand stroking her face. She had felt cold all over since that very first phone call, so Edward's cool touch didn't really matter anymore. "It's okay. This is probably something I should be spending with Charlie anyway." She remembered Billy's words. "He needs me. I better let him know you're not coming."

He started to run his fingers through her hair. "I've already called him. You've been talking to too many people these last 24 hours and I don't want you suffering anymore then you already are. Bella I love you and it's killing me that I can't be there but---"

The phone rang again.

Edward answered before she could even look up.

"Hello?....Yes, whose this?.....Sorry, I'll talk to you. Bella has been through enough planning today…." He then walked over to the corner and began speaking so low into the phone that there was no hope in Bella overhearing.

Under normal circumstances Bella may have wondered who Edward was talking to. Instead she got up, walked to the couch, and sat down next to Rosalie. The beautiful blonde was staring at her lap, her head tilted away from Edward as if she was trying to listen in. Perhaps she was.

Edward talked on the phone for a solid five minutes before flipping it shut. In a swift movement he was on the floor in front of Bella, the Pop-tart in his hand.

Rosalie was concentrating very hard on the patterns in the wallpaper. "I'm going out to get Bella something to eat," she said curtly before sweeping up from the couch and out the front door.

She returned twenty five minutes later with absolutely no food and a slightly victorious look on her face.

Whatever. Bella wasn't hungry anyway.


	3. Funeral

**A/N: I admit, this chapter is also short. Honestly, when I write chapters I don't have a goal length in mind, I simply right a chapter according to the amount of emotion and plot the character has to go through, if that makes sense? And this is a very emotional chapter for Bella. However, from now on the chapters will be much longer! Promise!**

**Also, thanks so much for the reviews! The amount of support and positive feedback I've been getting is very encouraging! So please, continue to review!**

* * *

People were beginning to file in to the pews at the church. The funeral would start in a little over half an hour. Charlie was sitting next to her, staring at the Bible and Hymnal that were perched in a little shelf in front of him. They were sitting at Jacksonville Methodist Church, waiting for the memorial service to begin.

Bella hadn't even been aware that her mother went to church, much less was a Methodist. And when she looked around she saw many people she didn't know. Some were crying, some were holding the crying, and some were pulling a Charlie and staring straight in front of them. Had they been her mother's friends, distant cousins, or coworkers?

Two women walked into the church whom Bella _did _recognize. One of them was one of her mother's best friends from high school, and the other one was one of her yoga friends from Phoenix. Part of Bella wanted to greet them, but they were holding each other's hands as they took their seats a few rows back and to the left, and Bella knew she would only be interrupting them. A small family came in looking solemn. Had they been fellow church goers, or neighbors? Tears slipped down Bella's cheeks because she didn't know. _She didn't know._

And she had never bothered to.

* * *

Ten minutes left now. Ten minutes and the pastor would stand up and talk about her mother for a few minutes. Then Phil would give his eulogy. Then Bella would give hers, which had been hastily written on the plane ride over. Edward had offered to do it for her, to help ease some of the stress he knew Bella was under. But they both knew that that was wrong, and a part of Bella resented him for even suggesting it.

Bella hated speaking in front of large crowds and this would be no exception. How was she going to do this? To stand up in front of a room full of people and talk about a woman who she hadn't bothered to visit in nearly a year? A woman whose emails she had ignored up until the day she had died? A woman who she had come to resent for making her go to college and subsequently tacking on another year she'd have to wait for Edward to turn her? Bella felt sick, physically sick.

Charlie had gone from staring at the back of the pew to staring at his hands in his lap. Phil was sitting a row in front of her. His shoulders were shaking gently, so Bella knew he was crying. All three of them were grieving together, if in their own ways, and yet, Bella felt very much alone. Edward wouldn't have been able to step off the plane if he had tried to come to Florida with her. He was still in Rhode Island, watching the clock and texting her every few minutes to ask her how she was. She had stopped replying. There were only so many variations of, "Wishing it was over."

Five minutes. So close. The casket, which was white, was sitting at the front of the church. It was closed. The car had flipped several times, and apparently there had been some sort of fire…

Bella was sobbing now. She tried to hide it, tried to stay strong for Charlie, but she was failing on all accounts. She had never felt so _miserable, _like such a piece of _shit. _She **had **to stop crying. She couldn't go up there and weep her way through her eulogy. She couldn't be that daughter, that daughter who was never around, who stood up and boo hooed in front of a congregation that probably knew her mother better then she did.

She was going to vomit. And there it was; a glimmer of hope. Perhaps she could feign illness. Then she wouldn't have to get in front of everyone. She wouldn't have to feel like the terrible daughter that she was. She could—

No. That was the easy way out, the coward's way out. Her mother deserved better. It was the least she could do.

Three minutes now. Everyone was talking, but no one was talking to _her. _And she didn't deserve it really. She didn't know them, and they didn't know her. And there it was; that loneliness was rearing its head again. She choked back some of her tears.

Two minutes.

One minute.

A hot arm slipped around her shoulders and pulled her in close. She didn't even look to see who it was. After all, hadn't he always come through for her when she needed him most? And she had needed him, without even realizing it.

"Jacob," she said in a raspy voice that surprised her.

"I'm here Bella. You're not alone in this."

And there he went again, knowing just what to say, and making the loneliness go back to its hiding place.


	4. Ticket

**This chapter is a bit longer then the others, as I promised. Not 100% positive I like the beginning of this chapter, so let me know if it feels unnatural****for Jacob and Bella. I really want to get their relationship right. **

**Once again, thank you SO MUCH for all the positive feedback! I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to all of you, but I'm going to try to this time! All the feedback is very encouraging so please review!**

* * *

She and Jacob were sitting on the beach. It was after nightfall, which wasn't really the safest time to be on the beach, but Bella figured having a werewolf with her changed things.

"Do you want a sip Bella?" Jacob was holding a small bottle of whiskey. Bella wasn't really sure how he had gotten it, but she wasn't asking any questions.

"Um…no thanks. I don't really drink."'

"Oh?"

Bella cradled her legs against herself. "Well, I haven't really drunk much alcohol before, and Edward doesn't like the way I act when I've had some so…" She shrugged.

Jacob's jaw clenched. He was obviously biting his tongue. Finally he sighed and turned his head away from her. "Bella, you buried your mom today. You could drink this whole bottle of whiskey and pass out right here on the beach and no one would have any right to say a damn thing, especially Edward Cullen."

Bella stared at him for a moment before grabbing the bottle from his hand and taking a sip, out of curiosity more then anything. And besides, right now she would do anything to get her mind off what had happened that day. The drink was strong, and Bella knew she was making a face when she swallowed it. The liquid burned, but after another sip it stopped burning and instead left a warm trail from her throat to her tummy. She put the cap back on the bottle and stuck it into the sand.

_Oh god._

At least this marked the end of one of the worst days in Bella's life. The ocean breeze whipped through Bella's hair and she ran her fingers through it to try and make it settle.

"I'm tired, Jake."

Jacob was sitting next to her, the sleeves to his black, button up shirt pushed up and his dress pants rolled up to his knees. He was watching her carefully. His body was tensed, as if ready to spring into action. Bella did look like she needed to be rescued.

"I'll take you back to your hotel room."

"No, Jake, that's okay." She reached for his hand and gripped it. The other one she wrapped around her knees, pulling her black dress around her legs. "I'm just…._emotionally _tried. I don't really know what to do."

He pulled his hand away from hers and, moving right up beside her, wrapped his arm around her. "Well, want do you _want _to do?" He felt her shrug.

"I don't know." He could hear the tears she was trying to choke back. He pulled her in closer and gently rubbed her arm. "I guess I just want to sit here for a little bit," she continued.

"Okay, Bells. We can do that."

* * *

The next day was bright and sunny, the exact opposite of Bella's mood.

She sat on the edge of her hotel bed, staring at an old blanket her mother had sewn for her back in seventh grade. Phil had given it to her that morning. Renee had taken a couple of her old plaid shirts and sewn them together so Bella could have an extra blanket on her bed. It wasn't the prettiest creation her mother had ever made, but Bella had slept under it for years.

She held the blanket up to her nose and inhaled. It still smelled like the laundry detergent her mother used.

Someone knocked on the door to her hotel room, and a moment later Charlie let himself in.

"Hey Bella. My flight leaves in an hour and a half, so I'm going to go ahead and go to the airport. You're going back to Rhode Island tomorrow morning right?"

"Yeah, my flight leaves at 8:30am."

Charlie nodded. He was blinking rapidly, trying to clear the tears from his eyes. "Well, I guess I'll see you at, erm, at Christmas."

Bella's head jerked up. Would Christmas really be the next time she would see her dad? She realized, with a pang, that the last time she had taken time to see her father was _last _Christmas. And now she wasn't going to visit her dad, the only family she had left, for months?

When had she become so self-absorbed?

"You know dad, maybe…maybe I could---"

"No, Bells, you need to stay in school. You have exams next week, so you should go back and…and be prepared for them. You going to college was so important to your mom… I'll be fine, really."

Bella sighed. _No dad, you really won't be fine._

But Bella didn't comment anymore on the subject. Instead, she hugged Charlie awkwardly and watched him walk out of her hotel room, his bag slung over his shoulder.

Her eyes fell to her plane ticket for Rhode Island that was sitting on top of the bedside table. Something felt wrong.

She pulled out her phone and called Jacob.

* * *

His hotel room was a couple of floors down. Before she could even knock on the door he opened it.

"Hey there, Bella." He jerked his head back, giving her permission to go inside. Without a word she ducked under his arm. His backpack was sitting on top of the bed, along with the minimal clothes he had brought and a portable CD player. Clearing a spot for herself, Bella sat down on top of the bed. "Packing to go?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I can't really afford another night here, if you know what I mean. And my flight leaves at like—" he pulled his folded up plane ticket out of his pocket and checked the time, "---10pm. Not so bad, I can probably sleep on the way back."

A pause stretched between them and, wondering why Jacob was so quiet, Bella glanced up at him. He was staring at her with a frown. "Bella," he said, reaching out to take her hand, "Do you know how I got here?"

The question caught Bella off guard. She immediately became frustrated with herself because really, _it shouldn't have. _There may have been a tiny voice in the back of her mind wondering how on earth Jacob had managed to fly across the country in time for her mother's funeral, but Bella had obviously not been paying attention.

Bella found herself frowning back at Jacob. Honesty was probably the best policy. "Well, no, I guess I never thought about it. You always seem to just…appear whenever I need you the most."

His frown deepened. "So you have no idea how I managed to afford a two-way plane ticket from Seattle to Jacksonville in a matter of hours?"

Bella froze. "You didn't do anything _illegal _did you?!"

The frown melted off his face and he let out a loud laugh. "No, Bells, of course not. Though it would have been more preferable over the way I actually got here." He sighed. "Still playing the game I see."

Bella let out a huff and crossed her arms. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He laughed again. "Nothing, Bella. It has nothing to do with you. Well, actually that's sort of a lie, it has everything to do with you. But whatever, this is all beside the point. I have something serious I want to ask you, and I want you to really think about it before you give me an answer."

Jacob stood up and, taking Bella's hand again, pulled her up with him. He reached into a dresser drawer and pulled out a crisp sheet of paper. He pressed it into her hand. It was a plane ticket to Seattle for 10 pm this evening.

"Bella," Jacob whispered, stepping closer to her and looking right into her eyes, "I think you should come back to Forks. I know you have school, but Charlie needs you right now. You need to be around your family, and I need…I…"

He let the sentence fall between them.

Bella stared down at the ticket in her hand and thought about the other ticket sitting on top of her bedside table back in her hotel room. Something was closing in, something Bella knew instantly: doubt.

This wasn't even a question. Bella already knew her answer.


	5. Argument

**A/N: I am blown away by all the positive reviews you guys are giving me! Thank you so much to everyone who has been reviewing! All I ask is that you continue to review!**

**By the way, A LOT of you are on the right path when it comes to Rosalie and how Jacob managed to get to the funeral. But I'm afraid you're going to have to wait a few chapters before all that is revealed! Thanks for reading!**

* * *

The airplane was quiet. Most people had already turned off their lights, pushed their complimentary pillows behind their heads and curled up under their complimentary blankets. Bella, however, was trying to muster up the courage to call her fiancé.

_7 Missed Calls From: Edward Cullen_

Of course he already knew, of course. Alice had surely seen her flying to Forks by now. And knowing Edward, he had already called Charlie to ask him if he knew anything.

"I don't understand; if you don't want to talk to him, then don't talk to him." Jacob was peering at her over his shoulder, still trying to find a comfortable spot for his long body in the small airplane seat.

"Jacob, we're _engaged_," Bella snapped, and immediately regretted it. She saw Jacob roll his eyes before folding his hands in his lap and looking pointedly away from her.

"Well, we _are _engaged, he has every right to know what I'm doing."

Jacob turned his head towards her and narrowed his eyes. "Stop saying "we're engaged" like it's some kind of excuse, Bella. Give me the phone I'll call him for you," he held out his hand expectantly.

Bella shook her head vigorously. "No Jacob, I'll call him, I'll call him right now," she said through her teeth as she flipped open her phone and started to punch in Edward's number.

He picked up on the very first ring. "Bella, what the hell are you doing?! You realize we have finals next week?! Listen…I understand you're going through a lot right now, but school is important." She heard him sigh. "I'm buying a plane ticket to Forks right now, I'll be there in a couple of hours because we need to talk this through—"

"Edward," Bella interjected, "I know what I'm doing. This is **my **decision. It's really important to be with Charlie right now—"

"Bella don't be foolish, you need to take your exams, otherwise this entire school year will have been a waste. Your mother wanted you to go to college; don't you think you should finish up your year and _then _go back to Forks, for her?"

Bella felt tears prick her eyes. "Well Edward, since she's _dead _now, and my father is _alive—" _The phone immediately left her hand.

"Cullen," Jacob seethed into the phone, "Bella is coming home to be with Charlie who _needs _her---" He paused to listen to whatever Edward was saying before shaking his head, "No, this is Bella's decision, not yours. Just because she's your fiancé doesn't mean you can speak for her—- I, what? No, god you have no idea do you? Stop pretending like you understand what the fuck she's going through---- Oh _fuck off _Cullen." He flipped the phone closed and handed it to Bella.

Bella took the phone without a word. She sucked in a deep breath and tried to push back the tears that were brimming in her eyes, but they spilled over anyway. "I just can't believe….all this….is happening….," she spluttered, fighting back sobs.

"Bella," Jacob whispered softly as he gently titled her head up towards him. With a sad smile he wiped away the runaway tears. "I'm sorry that that just happened. He should've been more understanding."

Bella shrugged. "I guess."

Jacob wrapped his arm around her and drew her as close as he could, considering the armrest between them. "No, he should have. Also…erm…sorry I told your betrothed to fuck off…"

"It's okay," she sniffed, patting his arm and giving him a watery smile. "I'll get you for it later though."

He laughed. "That's fine by me, Bells."

* * *

It was past midnight when they landed in Seattle, but after factoring in the time difference it was actually past 3am for them. Bella felt her eyes try to shut on their own accord. She would have no trouble falling asleep tonight.

After walking to baggage claim to grab Bella's suitcase, they headed out into the parking lot. Once they located Jake's Rabbit and put their stuff in the trunk, they settled into the car for the hour plus drive to Forks in front of them.

Jacob paused before putting the key into the ignition. "Bella, does Charlie know you're here, and not in Rhode Island studying for your exams?"

"Um," Bella flipped open her phone and closed it again. It was almost dead. "Not exactly, I was a bit preoccupied with Edward…"

Jacob sighed. "Right. Well, by the time we get back it will be pushing 2am. You still have your house key?"

Bella shook her head. "My only key to Charlie's house is attached to my car keys for the truck. And those are inside Charlie's house…"

The corners of Jacob's mouth were twitching. He was trying not to smile. "You're a bit unprepared, Bells. That's okay, you can stay at my house and I'll drive you over to your dad's in the morning."

The thought of having an impromptu sleepover at Jake's made Bella's stomach flip flop. She wasn't sure whether or not it was pleasant. _It's just Jacob, _she thought_. _No, he wasn't 'just Jacob", he was a lot more then that. He would never be 'just' _anything _to her. She sighed before buckling her seatbelt. "Yeah, that'll be fine."

Jacob smiled before starting the engine. "Don't worry; I'll sleep on the couch." He put the car in reverse and backed out of the parking space.

As they drove down the highway towards Forks, Bella leaned her head against the cool glass of the window and listened to the soft indie music that was coming from the stereo. It was very relaxing and Bella fell asleep in no time.

Her dreams were hazy. Someone was laughing, and then someone was crying. She felt very small. Two choices were looming over her, choices she would have to confront and make very soon. But what were they? She couldn't quite grasp them. She just knew they were very important. She concentrated and tried to reach out to them. The choices seemed to take shape in her mind. She could almost see them.

The sound of Bella's ring tone jarred her awake. She groaned and put a hand to her forehead while the other one pulled her phone out of her pocket. She flipped it open without bothering to see who it was. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry to wake you Bella, but this is…important." Edward sounded unhappy, possibly irritated. She could just barely hear Alice whispering "do it Edward," in the background.

"What is it Edward?" Bella spared a quick glance at Jacob. He looked annoyed, but kept his eyes on the road.

"Well, I was going to buy a ticket to Forks, but…I'm not going to anymore." He sighed and then continued, "Alice thinks its best if you spend some _quality time _with Charlie, that you need to be around him right now, considering what's happened. I still think you should come to Rhode Island, but I…understand."

_No you don't. _

"But you'll be coming back soon, right?" It was the only thing she could think of to ask.

"Yes." She could hear more of Alice's soft whispers. "You're in mourning Bella; you should let your family be a comfort to you, and also be a comfort to your family."

"Um," Bella hesitated before continuing, "Isn't that what I told you when I called you from the plane?"

Edward groaned. "Yes Bella, I know that's what you said. I…made a mistake. I'm trying to amend it. You spend time with Charlie, and I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you two."

"Oh, and Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Tell Wolf Boy to mind his own business."

Bella opened her mouth to reply before realizing that Edward had hung up. Strange, he was usually much more polite to her on the phone. Bella heaved a sigh. He was obviously still unhappy with her. She was too tired to muster up the energy to care.

Looking over at Jacob she saw that his eyes were still trained to the road, yet his jaw was clenched and he was gripping the steering wheel with enough force to rip it off.

"Jake," she said, softly putting a hand on his arm, "Edward, uh, agrees with me now. He's giving me time with Charlie."

Jacob relaxed under her touch. "Glad he came to his senses," his said, his voice a little sharper then normal. Bella pulled away and slumped back into her seat. Talking about Edward would not fly with Jacob. And she could understand why. There was bad blood between them, always would be.

"Are we there yet?" Bella said, trying to lighten up the mood.

Jacob gave her a small smile. "Yeah, we're about ten minutes from my house."

"Good." Bella was so tired she could have slept right there in the Rabbit, but the thought of an awaiting bed was nice.

Twelve minutes later they pulled into Jacob's driveway. Billy had turned out all the lights before he had gone to bed, so they were surrounded by darkness when Jacob turned off the Rabbit. Bella climbed out of the car and blindly felt around, her eyes too tied to fully adjust. She felt a big, warm hand catch hers. "Come on Bells, I'll lead you inside." He gently pulled her through the front door, down the hall, and into his bedroom. She didn't need direction to find his bed and collapse on top of it. She felt the bed shift when Jacob sat down on the edge. She knew he was stalling. The couch wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, and she couldn't blame him for not really wanting to sleep there. She sighed again. What she was about to do was unladylike, but she was too tired to give a fuck.

"Honestly, Jake, just sleep here. It's not a big deal."

She saw the shape of his head turn to her in the darkness. "You sure, Bella?" She could hear the grogginess in his voice. He had to be just as exhausted, if not more exhausted then she was.

"Yeah it's fine." He immediately fell onto the bed beside her, and she could feel the heat radiating from his body, making the blankets she had wrapped around herself unnecessary. Ten seconds later he was snoring. Thirty seconds later Bella was too. And this time, no dreams were to be found.


	6. Waffles

**A/N: I'm sorry that this chapter wasn't up any earlier! I've had a very busy week! Anyway, I'm hoping this chapter is a bit more light-hearted. I felt like we needed some humor in this fic! **

**As always, thank you so much for the continued support and encouragement! It really drives me to churn out these chapters faster then I normally would! All I ask is that you continue to review! Thank you so much for reading!**

* * *

Bella awoke the next morning feeling somewhat disheveled. This was probably because sometime in the night Jacob had rolled over and buried a hand into her hair. After finding the bathroom and attempting to make herself somewhat presentable, she wandered into the kitchen.

"Hey Bella. Should I call your dad and let him know you're here?" Billy was sitting at the Black's small breakfast table eating some toast. Bella stood in the entryway, momentarily stunned. For some reason she had forgotten about Billy. She wondered if he had spotted her and Jacob in bed together…

"Um, hey Billy. Uh…no that's okay. Jacob is going to drive me over to my dad's a little later." Leaning against the wood panel in the entryway, she crossed her arms over her chest and tried not to think about how hungry she was. But scouring the contents of the fridge right in front of Billy would make the situation much more awkward then it already was.

"That so?" A mischievous look flashed across Billy's face before he cleared his throat, grabbed his plate with one hand and rolled away from the table with another. After plopping the plate into the sink he said, "Go ahead and help yourself to whatever you want, Bella. I'll be in the next room. Jacob should be up soon."

Bella uncrossed her arms and stood up straight. "Oh, okay. Thank you."

"Sure, sure." That mischievous grin again.

The fridge was, as Bella expected, lacking exponentially in breakfast foods. Or healthy foods in general. There were a couple of boxes of leftovers from somewhere and the milk was two weeks old. No wonder Billy had just eaten cooked bread from breakfast. She opened the freezer. There was enough fish to feed Billy and Jacob for at least a year, maybe longer. After doing a little bit of digging Bella managed to find a box of frozen waffles. The expiration date was mind boggling. "Wow."

Bella stuffed the waffles into the toaster and hunted through the pantry for maple syrup. She finally found some Aunt Jemima. Lovely. Once the waffles were ready she made up plates for her and Jacob, whenever he decided to get up.

She was just about to drench her waffles with syrup when she heard a groggy groan from behind her. "Hey Jake,' she greeted without even looking. A moment later she felt his heated presence next to her. "You found enough ingredients to make waffles?" he asked, delighted.

"No Jake, these are Eggos."

"Oh," he said, sounding surprised. "We had Eggos?"

"Yep," Bella said as she drenched Jacob's waffles with syrup too.

"I should probably eat at my own house more. I'm not even going to ask how old these are." Jacob grabbed his plate and sat down at the table. Bella laughed while pouring them glasses of orange juice. "Yeah well, they were frozen. Figured they'd be okay." She sat down across from Jacob and both of them simultaneously dug in.

Bella realized, after a moment, that this was the first time in a long time that she was eating a meal _with _someone. Usually it was just her and Edward, and he would always watch her. She would take every bite slowly, trying to make sure she didn't do anything stupid while she ate. Since when should anyone be self conscious when they were eating?

Jacob burped and scratched at his shoulder. His hair was sticking up in the back and his bare chest looked…well…it looked _good. _Bella was pretty sure he had gone to bed with a shirt on, which meant he had taken it off sometime in the night…

Non child friendly thoughts raced through Bella's mind before she shook her head quickly and blinked, as if doing that would make them go away.

Now it was Jacob who was staring at her. "You okay, Bells?"

"Just fine!" she squeaked as she stood up and began to clear away the dishes.

* * *

The ride over to Charlie's later that morning was nerve racking.

Bella was starting to shake. She had no idea how her dad would react to the fact that she had come home to him instead of back to Rhode Island to Edward and school. She wandered if he would actually be angry about the fact that she was skipping out on her exams and subsequently failing her freshman year at college, or if he would be happy to see her. The doubt in her was pointing to the former.

"God, Bella, you look like you're going to puke. Honestly, I don't know why you're freaking out. Charlie will be cool about it." Jacob eyed her apprehensively before pressing the button to roll down her window. "If you do puke, please aim for the outside."

Bella wasn't going to puke. She was, however, feeling a little faint. "What if he _is _mad though? He told me to go back to school. Maybe I should have just gone back to Rhode Island like he wanted."

"Bella," Jacob said, his voice taking a serious turn, "the last thing Charlie will feel when he sees you is angry."

Bella sighed. "You don't know that, Jake."

"Sure I do Bella," he turned his head and smiled at her, "No one can be angry when they see you." She snorted and his smile turned into a grin.

When they pulled into Charlie's driveway Bella felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her. She suddenly felt content. Like she had just come home for the first time in a long while. She felt a smile tug at her lips. She had forgotten how much she missed living here.

Jacob gently nudged her. "You ready?"

She nodded, trying to hold onto the feeling of contentedness that seeing her home had brought her. As she got out of the car she realized with a pang of relief that Jacob was climbing out of it as well.

"_You're not alone in this Bella." _

"Jake?"

He looked at her from over the Rabbit. "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

He smiled at her before reaching out and grabbing her hand. "No problem, Bells"

He led her up the stairs to the front door and rang the doorbell. Bella could hear movement coming from inside the house as Charlie walked to the door. Suddenly she _did _feel sort of nauseous.

The door opened and an unshaven, messy looking Charlie was standing before them. "Bella," he said, shock written all over his face. "What are you doing here?" There was alcohol on his breath, which Bella chose to ignore.

"Dad," she said shakily, "being here in Forks is more important then anything in the world right now. I think that… I know that I should be here." Charlie stared at her for a moment before his eyes began to water and he turned his head away.

"Okay Bells." He stepped out of the door frame, giving her permission to come inside. To come back home.

Bella wasn't sure what exactly was waiting for her inside the house, where pictures of her mother were sure to be a haunting presence, and a slightly unstable Charlie to deal with.

But Bella found courage from the hand that she was still holding onto.


	7. Trash

**A/N: I may or may not be in love with this chapter. I feel like we're finally getting to the romantic side of J/B, so yay! Anyway, once again THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who reviews! The positive feedback and encouragement makes me so happy! So please continue to let me know what you think!**

* * *

Charlie was distraught. He didn't directly show it, of course, but Bella could tell. He

stayed up later then he normally did and watched the news or ESPN. He didn't eat very much, and Bella could already tell he was losing weight. And pictures of her mother, which had been scattered around the house before, were starting to disappear.

The worst part was he got up every morning at the same time, went to the station and did his job, came home and hung up his gun and jacket, watched television, ate his dinner (what little he ate anyway), stayed up late, then went to sleep. Almost the same routine he had before Bella had moved away.

But he was miserable. And the realization that she couldn't do anything for him _killed _Bella. A part of her wished she had gone to Rhode Island after all. Anything to escape having to watch her father crumble away. He was losing himself to his grief, and she wished there was something she could do that would steer him back towards his formal self.

Bella was sitting on her windowsill, enjoying the rare rays of sunlight that had broken through the thick clouds of Forks. In her hand was a battered copy of _Peter Pan_ that she had found in Edward's personal library. He had told her that she could have it. It was a story she hadn't really appreciated until now, now that she wished she had never had to grow up. Had never had to deal with so much heartache.

_But then you never would have met Edward, _a small voice reminded her. She frowned. Edward hadn't called her in a couple of days. She wondered why this didn't bother her as much as it might have a few months ago.

_But then you never would have met Jacob. _He had called her a couple of hours ago out of the blue to see how she was doing. He had heard right through her, "Doing just fine," and was coming over after he was finished with pack business.

Bella bit her lip and pushed her book aside. Charlie was at the station and would be for the next couple of hours, so Bella took the opportunity to get some laundry done. She wasn't really sure when the last time Charlie had bothered to do any had been.

She wandered into her father's room and headed straight for his overflowing laundry hamper. She fell easily into the routine of sorting the clothes into different piles based on their color and tried to ignore the bottle of whiskey that was sitting atop of Charlie's bedside table.

Her father wasn't a drunk, and since she had come back home she hadn't actually seen him drunk. However, she smelt it on his breath more often then she would have liked and she saw him take a swig from Jack Daniels more then he ever had before. And she hadn't even been back for a week. She made a mental note to take the bottle back down to the kitchen and put it under the sink where the rest of the liquor was. Charlie could still ease his pain, but there was no reason why it should be sitting by his bed.

Bella bent over to grab up a bundle of Charlie's white t-shirts and socks when she spotted it. A cardboard box was sitting in the corner of his room with 'things be thrown away' written in sharpie on the side.

She walked over to the box and peered down inside. Bella dropped her armful of clothes. Inside the box sat the pictures of Renee that had been subtly vanishing over the past couple of days. She stumbled a couple of feet backwards until she felt the edge of Charlie's bed on the back of her legs. She sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at the box and its precious contents.

She heard the front door open and close. "Hey Bells!" She heard Jacob walking up the stairs and turn towards her bedroom. "Yeah, so I thought we could just head into La Push and hang out? I still have those—" He noticed she wasn't in her room. "Bella?" He peaked through the entryway to Charlie's room and his eyes widened with alarm. "Bells honey, what's wrong?"

It wasn't until Jacob rushed towards her, stooped down on his knees and began wiping away her tears that she realized that she had been crying. Bawling, actually. She tried to exhale slowly in order to calm herself down, but she let out a sob instead. The tears poured down her cheeks and Jacob continued to ask her what was wrong, a frantic edge to his voice now. He kept on wiping her tears away. Without a moment of indecision, Bella lurched herself forward into Jacob's arms.

Jacob gently lifted her off the bed so that they could both sit on the floor with her in his lap. He wrapped one arm around her waist and held her against him. He used his other hand to stroke her hair in soothing motions. Bella wrapped her arms around his neck and wept into the curve between his neck and his shoulder. They sat there like that for quite some time, and Jacob said nothing. He just let her cry.

"Bella," he whispered softly when she had started to quiet down. "Do you just want to stay here? Or do you want to leave? Tell me what you want to do Bella and we'll do it." Bella shook her head, which was still buried into his neck. "Look into that box Jake," she said, her voice muffled and hot against his skin.

There was no reason to look. Jacob had already noticed. "Come on honey, lets get you out of her," he said with such tenderness that Bella almost started crying again. He gently maneuvered Bella out of his arms and slowly stood up, his hands clasping her elbows in order to steady her. For a moment she just stood there and stared at the box in misery. "Jake," she said, her eyes beginning to water again. She wouldn't look away from the pictures of her mother.

Before she could say anything else or continue to gaze at the box Jacob grabbed her shoulders and steered her out of Charlie's room, down the stairs, out of her house, and into his Rabbit.

Five minutes later they were on the highway. "Where are we going?" Bella asked, her voice more even then it had been ten minutes ago. Jacob gave her a sad smile. "We're just going to drive around Bella." She nodded, not bothering to put in any enthusiasm. Jacob took one hand off the wheel and took one of Bella's hands in his own.

It wasn't until they had been driving along for over fifteen minutes without a word between them that Bella broke the silence. "Why would he want to throw away her pictures?"

"Because they remind him of what he's lost. Rebecca tore up a couple of pictures of my mom."

"But they're all he has left of her," Bella said, her voice breaking.

Jacob gave her had a reassuring squeeze. "That's not true Bella." He gave her a look that further drove home his point.

Bella couldn't stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks this time. "He sees her every time he looks at me. I'm causing him more pain." She sighed. "I'm starting to think that coming back here wasn't such a great idea."

Jacob pulled the Rabbit onto the side of the road. He let go of Bella's hand and used his to swipe away the tears off her cheek. "Bella, you know none of this is your fault, don't you? He's _grieving _Bella. You have to let him work it out."

"But Jake—"

"No, Bells. Everyone grieves differently. All you can do is help him get through it. At least with you here, he isn't alone." He pulled his hand back and rested it on top of his knee. Even though the space between them was small, Bella felt like Jacob's body was a thousand miles away. She wanted to close the distance. So she did. She scooted across the seat, wrapped her arms around Jacob's waist and pulled him to her. He wrapped his arms around her in return.

They sat there like that for a moment before Jacob said, "Let's go see a movie."

Bella titled her head up and looked at him. "Why?"

Jacob smiled down at her. "Why not?"

He kissed her forehead before letting go of her and starting up the Rabbit again. Bella turned her head and looked out the window as the car rolled back onto the highway. For the first time since she had stepped foot in Charlie's house a few days ago, Bella felt _better. _

Leave it to Jacob.


	8. Almost

**A/N: Sorry this wasn't up any quicker, but I've been writing one-shots for a fic exchange I'm participating in. One is already up on this account actually, it's called **_**Sunlight and Hangovers, **_**and it's the first fic where I've let my funny side run rampant in quite sometime. So check it out of you haven't already!**

**Okay, now that I'm done shamelessly promoting my own fics, ON TO THIS CHAPTER. I really like this chapter, and I hope you do to! **

**Please tell me what you think by leaving a review! I love reviews! ;D**

* * *

Bella sat in the cool lobby of the movie theater in Port Angeles. It was pouring rain outside, so Jacob had volunteered to go get the car and pull it up to the theater so Bella wouldn't have to get wet. She dug her hand into the almost empty bucket of popcorn and munched on the handful she pulled out. She stood up and walked to the concession stand.

"Does this bucket come with a refill?" She said around her mouthful of popcorn. The girl behind the concession stand raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah," she said as she took the bucket from Bella. "Did you want butter?" Bella nodded vigorously. The movie had been shit, but at least they had a yummy snack to get them back to Forks. As Bella pulled some napkins out of the holder beside the register, her phone rang.

She froze when she saw the caller id. Edward was calling her. "Hello?" She tried to force her voice not to shake.

"Bella," Edward growled into the phone, "give me one good reason why I shouldn't buy a plane ticket to Forks this instant!"

"Um, uh, wait—" Bella turned her eyes away from the concessions girl, who had placed her popcorn down in front of her and was making no point in trying to hide the fact that she was listening in on Bella's conversation. "What are you taking about?"

"Bella, I saw you crying alone in your father's room. Well, Alice saw you, but you know what I mean. It's _killing _me that I'm not there, holding you. I'm serious Bella, I'm one click away from Travelocity. I could be there in hours."

Bella gulped. Wasn't she _supposed _to want him there with her? Well, she **was **supposed to. But she didn't.

"It's okay Edward, I'm okay."

"You're lying to me Bella," he seethed. "Why were you in your father's room crying on the floor? I know you're in pain, but I hate the idea of you suffering alone—"

"She isn't suffering alone."

Bella whirled around to see Jacob standing in front of her, his arms crossed over his sturdy chest. He was glaring at the phone in her hand.

"Put him on the phone," Edward said furiously. "Put him on the phone _now_."

Bella shook her head even though Edward couldn't see it. "No."

"Bella, put him on the phone or so help me God I'm buying a plane ticket to Forks and I will tell him to leave you alone myself—"

"What are you talking about?" Bella snapped. Now she was the one who was starting to get angry.

"Bella, he's taking advantage of you, and you're in too vulnerable of a place to understand that. He knows that you're in Forks all by yourself, without your fiancé, so he knows that _he's _the one whose shoulder you're going to cry on. How convenient for him." Edward's voice was starting to shake, he was so livid.

Bella felt herself blush. "Well, yes, he was there when I was crying but it was because I wanted him to be there, and well, he was just _there _anyway."

"What do you mean he was just '_there anyway_'?"

"Well, Jacob was there for me, and I…and I--," Bella was starting to stutter. The concessions girl was now leaning against the counter, her head resting in her hands as she watched Bella and Jacob contently. This was more entertainment then she ever got on a regular workday.

Jacob snatched the phone out of Bella's hand for the second time since she had come home to Forks. "Cullen, if you think my comforting her is 'manipulative' then you need to take a step back and seriously evaluate all the shit you've pulled on the both of us since you fucking met Bella Swan. Eat shit Cullen." He then hung up the phone.

"Jacob!" Bella exclaimed as she grabbed her phone back from him. "That was so rude! He was just trying to help."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "'Just trying to help' my ass Bella. He thinks what happened earlier was me _manipulating _you. God, I can't… He's such a fucking douchebag I will never understand why you… Oh fuck it. I'm going back out to the car." He reached out and grabbed the bucket of popcorn before turning around and walking back outside.

Bella turned back to the concessions girl. "Uh, thanks."

The girl shrugged. "No problem."

* * *

1 New Message from Edward Cullen

_Bella, I love you but I do not appreciate what Jacob just said to me. I do not trust him, and I don't think you should either. I will call you later and we will talk about everything. I wish I was there with you._

Bella's thumb lingered over the 'Reply' button before she decided she didn't really want to talk to him at that moment. So she flipped her phone shut and stuck it into her pocket.

Jacob was still fuming. Bella had to admit, what Edward had said about him _had _been unfair, but at the same time, was it right? She was in love with Edward and engaged to marry him. He provided for her easily, paying for her college tuition and giving her a beautiful apartment to live in. Not to mention his beauty took her breath away.

But…

She had been in love with Jacob too. Or was she _still _in love with him? Bella never felt like she had to stay on her toes around Jake. Everything just came to both of them so easily. All he needed to do was care about her for her to feel complete. She remembered the way it had felt for him to hold her while she cried. She had felt so _miserable_ but also _safe_ and _loved. _Her explicit need for those arms had tested her sanity the past year she had been away from him, and now that she had felt what it was like to have them wrapped around her, she never wanted to let them go.

She turned and stared at Jacob, who was still seething over what Edward had said,

Bella bit her lip and forced the tears from her eyes. No matter how hard she had tried to push her feelings aside, the fact was that Bella was in love with Jacob.

That Bella was _still _in love with Jacob.

* * *

Bella suddenly felt wary as they pulled into her driveway. Her dad's police car was parked by the garage, and he probably wasn't going to be thrilled that Bella had left without leaving him a note to tell him where she was going.

And then, of course, there were all those pictures of her mother that were sitting in a box, waiting for Charlie to hide them away forever. "Should I talk to him about what I found in the box?" Bella's voice was shaking. She leaned back and squeezed her eyes shut. She wished Renee was there. Her mother would have known what to do with Charlie.

"No, not yet. He needs time Bells." She felt Jacob's hand gently brush the hair out of her face. Bella nodded before opening her eyes and looking over at him. "Thanks for the movie today. It made me forget for a little while."

Jacob smiled sweetly at her before brushing the rest of her long hair over her shoulder. "You're welcome Bells. Sometimes we need to just stop thinking about all the bullshit."

Bella cocked an eyebrow and he grinned sheepishly.

"That mouth of yours," she sighed.

"Eh, you like it. It sounds nice when it comes out of my mouth," he joked.

"Everything sounds nice when it comes out of your mouth."

It was Jacob's turn to cock an eyebrow. "That's good to know." Bella laughed before nudging him in the arm. "You know what I meant. But seriously, thank you, for everything. I don't even know what I would have done if you hadn't been there today—"

"Bella," Jake said, cutting her off, "You don't have to thank me for anything. I will _always _be here for you, no matter what happens. I.." he paused for a moment. "I care about you too much to just watch you suffer."

Bella blinked the tears from her eyes. "Jacob…" she leaned forward a little bit with the intention of giving him a hug. Instead she kept her arms to her sides and let her face linger just inches from his. He turned his head slowly to where there was but a hair's breadth between their lips. "Bells," he whispered, his hot breath sending shivers down to her toes.

A knock on the door to the passenger's side sent both of them bolting upright and away from each other. Jacob winced as he hit his head on the roof of the Rabbit. Bella turned around and saw Charlie, whose arms were crossed. He regarded them with little emotion. "Bella," he said after she had opened up the door and climbed out of the car, "I need to talk to you."

"Oh?" Bella said, concern working its way into her features. She hoped he hadn't figured out that she had seen the box and its contents.

"Yeah, it's about your mom."

Bella reached out to steady herself against the Rabbit. "What about her?" she asked softly.

Charlie sighed before answering. "She left a will."


	9. Reminder

**A/N: I'm tired, it's late, so this note is going to be short.**

**Enjoy.**

**Please review. **

**Bye!**

* * *

Bella was staring down at her half filled coffee cup while her dad rummaged through the legal documents he had scattered across the table. She couldn't really bring herself to understand what her father had just told her, it seemed too much to fathom.

Twenty-five grand and the house in Phoenix

That's what her mother had left her.

First of all, Bella remembered very well that her mother had never put _anything _in a savings account before Bella turned ten, and after that it had been a joint college fund that she had started with Charlie so Bella could go to school. Of course none of that had mattered after she met Edward. He had paid for everything. And second of all, she owned a house now?

"But, none of this makes any sense. Mom never thought about saving money or…dying. I don't understand why she would even leave a will without telling me—"

"Well she didn't tell me either so I guess we're both in the dark about this one." Charlie tucked all of the papers into a folder and pushed it across the table, away from both of them. "The fact is you're about to come into $25,000 and a house in Arizona. What are you going to do with them?"

It was a heavily loaded question, and one that Bella really couldn't answer. Edward would never let her spend her own money, he insisted on paying for everything. He would also never be able to live in a perpetually sunny place like Phoenix. She eyed Charlie. He would have a much better use for it then she—

"I know that look Bells, the answer is no. It's your money and your house, so you keep it."

Bella bit her lip and stared down at her hands, still grasping her coffee cup. "But dad, I don't really _need _them."

"Well Bells, I don't really know what to tell you. Put it in savings so that if anything…happens you can have something to live off of while you get back on your feet. And that house is a really nice place to have, just in case." Charlie stood up and began to push his chair underneath the table.

"What do you mean if 'anything happens'?"

Charlie threw up his hands in an 'I surrender' position. "You've been talking to Jake a lot more then you've been talking to Edward lately, and I'm pretty sure I caught you two about to do something you're not supposed to be doing with the man who's not your fiancé back down in the Rabbit. And that's all I'm going to say."

Bella knew without a doubt she was blushing. "Um…well you see Jake and I, we were…I had something on my face—"

Charlie smiled. It was the first time Bella had seen him smile since the funeral. "I wasn't complaining Bella. You know how I feel about Jake."

Bella felt her mouth fall open before she heard the doorbell ring. "I'll get it!" she cried as she bolted from her chair and out the room. For someone who was in such a state of mourning, Charlie sure was perceptive when it came to her own relationships.

Bella opened the front door to find Billy holding a couple of fish and Jacob standing behind him. "Oh," Bella said, surprised. "I didn't know you guys were coming over for dinner."

Billy grinned up at her. "Charlie said you two might need some company, although I hear you and Jake have already spent a significant amount of time together today." He threw his mischievous look at both of them before rolling through the door and towards the kitchen.

"They've been talking about us again," Jacob said with a smile as he leaned against the doorframe. Bella snorted and grabbed Jacob's hand, pulling him inside. "Even if it is May, it's still cold out, and you're letting the cold air in." Jacob stepped inside, closing the door behind him and wrapping one arm around her waist. "I wouldn't worry about that Bells. You know I can always keep you warm." It came out lower then usual, and slightly seductive. Bella took a sharp intake of breath and tried not to tremble.

Jacob pressed a lumpy paper package into her hands. "This was sitting out by the door. I didn't look to see who it was from or anything."

But all Bella could think about was the fact that one of his hands were touching her hands, while the other one was still wrapped around her waist, sitting on her hip.

Sexual tension at its finest.

"Oh, uh, thanks Jake." She grasped the package to her chest and stared up at him, her breath quickening. He was staring down at her, the look on his face unreadable. After a moment he gently began using his arm wrapped around her to push her towards himself. He began slowly lowering his head down to hers, and Bella had to fight the overwhelming need to throw her arms around his neck and know the feel of his lips against hers again. She closed her eyes, her lips parted in preparation, and waited impatiently for his kiss.

But it didn't come.

She realized, with a pang, that he was waiting for _her _to close the gap. For _her _to kiss _him. _He was letting her make the choice. And what would she choose?

With one hand still grasping the package, she used the other hand to reach up and cup Jacob's smooth face in her palm. He leaned into her touch and sighed, his eyes closed.

Bella sucked in a deep breath, leaned forward and…kissed Jacob.

She felt him go rigid with shock. And then, just as quickly, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and gently pulled her up against him. Bella dropped the package and wrapped her free arm around his neck, pulling his face down so he could be even closer to her. The kiss was sweet, innocent, and confusing.

But it quickly became hot, heavy, and _right._

Jacob pushed up the hem of her shirt, his hands and fingers spreading across her lower back. Bella groaned into his mouth.

"WHOA."

It only took a second for Bella and Jacob to unwrap themselves from each other and look up at Billy and Charlie.

Charlie's eyebrows were raised practically to his hair line. "We were just coming to tell you kids that dinner is ready, but it looks like you're too busy eating each others tongues instead."

Billy was grinning. "I thought I heard slurping noises."

Saying that Bella's face was the color of a tomato was an understatement. "I'm just going to go wash up," she said, her tone high pitched and embarrassed. She scooped up the package and practically ran into her bathroom.

Her reflection looked giddy. But she _shouldn't _be giddy though, should she? She had just kissed the man who she _wasn't _engaged to. This wasn't right. This wasn't supposed to be right.

But it was. Or at least it felt that way.

Bella turned away from the mirror, refusing to look at herself any longer. For the first time she looked at the package. It was from Rhode Island.

Suppressing a groan Bella ripped it open. Out fell a velvet box and a note.

_Bella,_

_I'm sending this to remind you of whom your heart truly belongs to,_

_Alice_

Bella gazed down at the box sitting on the floor. She already knew what was in it, and when she popped it open her fears were confirmed.

It was her engagement ring.

It shone up at her, as beautiful as ever. Any girl would be proud to wear it, would be proud to be engaged to the man who had given it to her. The problem was, she wasn't that girl. Not anymore.

But she loved Edward…right?

She slipped the ring onto her finger and looked at her hand. It was supposed to symbolize Bella and Edward's love. At least, that's what it used to symbolize.

Now it felt more like one of those electronic anklets they put on you when you're under house arrest. People under house arrest weren't prisoners, exactly. They could still live in their own home with their family and pets, surrounded by their personal belongings. They could live a normal life, doing almost everything they wanted. But they weren't really free, because they still could not step over the boundary line.

And that's exactly how Bella felt. Like Edward had drawn her a boundary line, and she had just crossed it


	10. Mistake

**A/N: I hit 2,000 words for this chapter! *happy dance***

**To everyone who reviewed the last chapter, thank you SO much. You guys make my days so much brighter.**

**Enjoy this chapter and please review!**

* * *

Bella was walking down the hallway, her ballet slippers making no noise on the wooden floor. It was strange, she was in Charlie's house, but the Phoenix sun shone through the windows and she felt much shorter then normal. She stopped at the fireplace and eyed the mantel that was above it. It had pictures on it and if she stood on her tippy toes she could just see them—

"Bella." A warm hand placed itself on her shoulder, and Bella looked up to see who it belonged to. Her mother smiled down at her. She looked just as healthy and vivacious as ever.

"Bella, what are you doing over here? Shouldn't you be getting ready to go to dancing school?"

Dancing school? Bella hadn't been to a dance class in _years. _Just the thought of one made her wince. She opened her mouth to ask her mother what she was talking about, but nothing came out. She couldn't speak.

Renee reached out her hand and began tracing a finger along the pictures sitting on the mantel. "I love photographs in frames. I mean, you get to capture a moment in time and then frame it so it looks even more beautiful then it did before. Did I tell you I used to take photography classes when you were a baby? I only took a few, didn't have enough money or a decent camera… Look Bella…" She slowly picked up a picture on the far end, a picture Bella hadn't been able to see.

"Don't you look beautiful?" Renee held out the picture in front of her. It was…a wedding picture? Yes, that's exactly what it was. A wedding picture of her and Edward. Bella was wearing something over the top and lacy, something that was surely all over ever bridal magazine, if Alice had had any say in it. Her hair had been styled in a half up, half down do, and it looked long and glossy. She really _did _look beautiful. And of course, Edward looked as flawless as he always did. He was wearing a suit and he looked simply breathtaking. They were both staring right at the camera, their mouths giving small smiles and their faces composed in a classic form.

"Oh Bella, you look so lovely." But Renee's tone was sad. "You both look so perfect but…is this really what's going to make you happy? Perfection?" Bella opened her mouth to say something, but once again, her voice wouldn't come out.

Renee put the picture back onto the mantel. She was starting to fade away. "Beauty, perfection, absolute composure… If that's what makes you happy Bella…" Her voice was starting to fade away too, until she was nothing but a shadow. "But it sounds like misery to me…"

Bella found herself walking backwards past the lit windows, past the hallway, into her bedroom into her bed and—

Bella's eyes opened. She was covered in sweat and the bed covers were wrapped around her. The dream was still there, clinging to her memory. She groaned and sat up, unraveling herself from her blankets. The faint morning sun was peaking in through her window and she could hear Charlie walking around in his room.

Why did she always seem to have weird dreams when her life was complicated? The kiss with Jacob was still sitting heavily on her mind.

Had it been a mistake? She had kissed Jacob while being engaged to Edward before, back before the battle with the newborns. But this time it felt different. She and Jacob had kissed the first time because she was trying to save him from himself, but now it felt like she needed to be saved from _herself. _

But she had already picked Edward, hadn't she? And now she was cheating on him. Again. She glanced at her engagement ring sitting on her bedside table. She groaned.

She heard Charlie's bedroom door open and close, and decided she would open up her own door and wish him good morning.

She almost immediately regretted it. Charlie awkwardly stopped and ducked his head when she opened her door. He was carrying a cardboard box, and Bella knew what it was without having to look for the label that was surely on the side of it.

"Dad, what are you doing?"

Charlie shrugged. "Just taking this box down to the dumpster, that's all."

Bella squeezed her eyes shut and wished that this wasn't happening. "Dad… I know what's in the box." She walked out of her bedroom and shut the door behind her.

Charlie blinked at her. "You do?"

"Yeah, I do." She reached out for it. "Here, I'll take them away from here, but please don't throw them away. Don't throw her away…"

Charlie was staring at her now, tears filling up his sorrowful eyes. "I'm sorry Bella," he said before handing her the box and continuing down the hallway. Bella silently watched him as he grabbed his keys and his gun before walking out of the house. Bella looked down at all the pictures of her mother before taking in a deep breath.

She knew just where to take them.

* * *

Placing the heavy box at her feet, Bella knocked on the Black's front door. Billy answered a moment later. "Oh, hey Bella," he greeted with surprise. "Wasn't expecting you over here today."

"Yeah, I um, actually just wanted to drop something off," she said as she motioned towards the box at her feet. Charlie followed her movement. "Oh," he said, his face falling. "He's really having a rough time, isn't he?"

"He was going to throw them away, and I just couldn't let him do that." Bella's voice shook with her unshed tears, but she refused to cry in front of Billy. It would make the situation even more uncomfortable then it already was.

Billy nodded understandingly. "Well, Jake's off with the pack right now, but if you want to go ahead and come in that's fine. You want some tea? I make a mean cup of tea."

Bella gave Billy a watery smile before shaking her head. "No thanks, I'm fine." She leaned forward and picked up the box before following Billy inside. Billy gestured towards the tiny hall closet. "You can store the box in there for now. It's a nice thing you're doing, not letting your dad throw away those pictures. He'd probably regret it one day if he did."

Bella nodded before putting the box into the closet. Billy gave her a small smile. "You gonna wait here until Jake gets back?"

Bella looked down at her feet. She wanted to see Jacob; she wanted to feel him again. She wanted to kiss him again.

But she could also feel the weight of the engagement ring, even though she wasn't wearing it. And she knew in her heart of the hurt that Edward must be feeling. He had called her seven times already that day, but she hadn't answered any of his calls. She was avoiding him and he knew something was up.

"That's okay Billy, I'm just going to go ahead and go home."

Billy gave her a confused look before nodding his head. His eyes then widened as they fell on something, or someone standing in the doorway. Bella knew it was Jacob before she even turned around.

"Bella, maybe we should talk about…what happened," she heard him say from the door.

She inwardly grimaced. Of course, nothing _had _happened, with the exception of their kiss. Dinner last night had been fairly quiet and sufficiently awkward, especially since Bella knew she had an engagement ring belonging to another man sitting in her bathroom.

"No, that's okay Jake. I'm not feeling too well and I just want to head home." She thanked Billy before scooting past Jacob and practically sprinting towards her truck. But Jacob was faster. "Bella," he said as he casually leaned against the driver's door, "We should talk about that kiss."

"It wasn't a big deal," Bella said sharply. "Now please move."

"You kissed me Bella. That _is _a big deal," Jacob retorted, his voice just as sharp as hers. But Bella could hear the underlying hurt. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "Please Jacob, not now. We shouldn't have—"

"We shouldn't have what?" Jacob interrupted. His voice was harsh now, and Bella felt anger beginning to bubble up inside her.

"We shouldn't have kissed okay? It was a mistake. I never should have kissed you. It was a mistake, okay? I appreciate everything you've done but…maybe we shouldn't hang out for a little while. I mean, Edward and I are—"

"Engaged," Jacob finished for her, the hurt in his voice now clear as a whistle. "Yeah Bells I understand. You love your fiancée so much that you kissed _me _instead of yearning for him—"

"Oh don't be an ass Jake!" Bella spat. She pushed against Jacob and he obediently moved aside. "Bella," he whispered, his voice soft and sad now, "if you knew what I did for you…what I keep holding back…"

The sadness in his voice made Bella pause as she opened up her door. "Jacob…please…" She looked up into his face and felt that _need _again. She took a hesitant step forward and tried to push away all the negative thoughts out of her mind.

_It's cheating, isn't it? You're engaged. But you're so __**close **__to him, and you __**love**__ him. And Edward…_

_What about Edward?_

This time, Jacob kissed her. The hesitance, the sadness, Bella could feel his emotions as he pressed his lips against hers. Something in Bella's mind snapped and she immediately threw her arms around his neck and pushed herself up against him. Jacob groaned in response and gently pushed Bella up against her truck, his fingers sliding down her sides and causing her to shiver involuntarily. He moved his mouth away for hers and began to trail scorching kisses from the corner of her lips, across her jaw, and down her neck. Bella had to bite her lip to keep herself from moaning.

He pulled away for a moment in order to push back the collar of her blouse so that he could get to her shoulder and collar bone. Then Bella, who was eager to feel his lips on her skin again, felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

She knew who it was. "Jacob wait," she said, her voice ragged. He groaned in protest as he leaned in to kiss the curve between her neck and shoulder.

Her phone continued to buzz.

"Jacob, stop." Her voice came out sharper then she meant, but Jacob immediately pulled away and backed up a few steps, his expression black. "Jacob," she continued, her voice shaking, "we can't do this."

"Why?" was all he said.

"Because," she gestured to the space between them, "this just isn't fair to him. It's not right."

"Okay, _fuck _whether or not it's fair Bella. Does it feel right to _you_?"

_Yes._

"No," she lied.

"You're lying," he growled.

Bella shook her head, trying to keep the desperation from creeping into her voice. "No, no I'm not."

She could see Jacob's arms starting to shake. "Bella, stop lying to me. No, actually, you know what? I don't give a fuck if you lie to me, because you're such a shitty liar I can always tell you're lying anyway. Just stop lying to _yourself._"

It was like a slap in the face, and it stung because it was true, all of it. Bella's pent up frustration made her snap. "Whatever Jacob! This was a mistake! You're a mistake, you were back then, and you are _now!_"

It was Jacob's turn to look stunned. "Bella," he said, his voice flat, "Please tell me you honestly don't mean that."

Bella tried her hardest to pretend that she couldn't hear him as she climbed into her truck. But the tears were already spilling down her cheeks, proof that she _could _hear him.

"Bye Jacob," she said before putting the truck in reverse and backing out of the driveway. She could see him through the windshield, him watching her as she ran away from him again.

Bella cried the whole way home, not because of her and Jake's argument, but because she _agreed _with him. The kiss had been far from a mistake. He had been far from a mistake. He felt normal, like she was doing something right after years of getting it wrong.

Why did she have a nasty feeling she was going to regret today?


	11. Backwards

**A/N: Wow! You guys brought me past the 100 review mark! Thanks so much!**

**Some of you were not happy with Bella in the last chapter. Well, I'm afraid you won't be too thrilled with her in this chapter either. But never fear! She'll make up for it soon! Also, this chapter is a filler and not my best, but I'm **_**very **_**excited for the **_**next **_**chapter. Lot's of things will be revealed (yes, I'm mean, but you're just going to have to wait!).**

**Enjoy and please review!**

* * *

It was dark out, and Bella was washing the dishes after she and Charlie had eaten dinner. She was trying to keep her mind off Jacob and what she had said to him that afternoon, but she was failing miserably.

As soon as she had gotten home from Jake's she had run up to her room and slipped the engagement ring onto her finger. She had to _force _herself to remember who she really belonged to. And then she had cried her eyes out because she knew she didn't really belong to him anymore. She had stopped belonging to him as soon as Jake had wrapped his arms around her at her mother's funeral.

But she had been willing to give up her entire life for him. She had been willing to die for him in order to be with him for eternity. That had to count for something, right?

Right?

Her phone rang again, probably Edward calling for the fourteenth time. Literally. Bella was sorely tempted to throw her phone out the kitchen window. Instead, she flipped open her phone and said, "I don't feel like talking," before flipping it shut and tossing it back onto the counter and going back to the dishes.

"Cullen's a bit of a pest, huh?"

Bella screeched before whirling around, a wet dishrag clutched to her chest. "Jacob?" she gasped, trying to get her heart to stop racing. "What are you doing in my kitchen?"

Jacob sighed before jerking his thumb in the direction of the living room, where Charlie was watching sports. "Your dad let me in."

Bella made a scoffing sound before she turned back to the sink full of dirty dishes she still had to clean up. She really didn't feel like doing them right now. She tossed the dishrag to the side dejectedly. "What do you want?"

"We need to talk about what you said."

"I don't want to."

"I'm aware. But we need too."

"Fine," Bella snapped as she whirled away from the sink and marched past Jacob. "But we're taking this outside."

Bella was thankful it wasn't raining as she walked out of her front door and into the front yard. She turned around and opened her mouth to say something to him, but the look on his face made her freeze.

"Am I really a mistake?"

Bella bit her lip and turned her head away from him. It was the million dollar question, and one she already knew the answer to. Of course she hadn't meant it, and the memory of the hurt that had been on his face, and knowing _she _had put it there, was unbearable.

"No," she said slowly, turning back around to face him.

Relief washed across his face before being replaced by irritation. "Then why are we having this argument Bella?"

"I don't know," Bella said, defeated. Jacob closed the space between them and stared down at her. "Bella, why are you still denying yourself happiness?" He reached for her hands and then, upon feeling her ring, he pulled away as if he'd been burned.

"I thought…you hadn't been wearing that?"

Bella shook her head. "No, it's time I started to though."

"What the _fuck _Bella?" His hands twisted through his hair and his took a deep breath in order to calm the violent tremors running through his body. "Why are you doing this? You're fucking _miserable—"_

"My mom _died! _Of course I'm miserable—"

"Then why did you kiss me Bella? Why? If you're so satisfied with Cullen then why did you even let me back into your life again?"

Bella could feel herself shaking now and the angry tears began to pour from her eyes. "Because I _missed _you! Is it so bad to have simply wanted your friendship again?"

"Why did you kiss me?" he asked again, frustrated.

Bella bit her lip. There was no lie she could tell that would explain away their kisses. She had enjoyed them, longed for them. And she wanted to kiss him again right this very moment.

"Bella," Jacob said, his voice deadly serious, "do you love me?"

Bella looked up into his face. Of course she did. The words were on the tip of her tongue but…

What was stopping her?

She loved Jacob. But why couldn't she bring herself to be with him? There was absolutely no reason why, and she knew it.

But Edward… Edward would let her go, wouldn't he? If she was being honest, she wasn't so sure he would. Edward was convinced that Jacob was trying to steal away his girl. But Jacob couldn't steal something that was already his to begin with.

But as much as she loved Jacob, as much as she wanted to be with him, could she really make him happy? Didn't he deserve better then someone who kept going back and forth? Someone who could make up her damn mind?

_But you have made up your mind._

Hadn't she?

"I love…"

He leaned forward, hanging on her words. His eyes were wide and vulnerable, and his breathing raw. This would make or break him.

"…Edward."

He turned away from her, his face masked with bitterness. He shook his head, as if he didn't want to believe her.

Bella forced herself not to start sobbing. If she did, he would know she didn't mean what she had said, and everything would be over.

"Well then," Jacob said, his voice raspy, "I'll just stop getting in the way. Bye Bells." He turned and sprinted into the woods, and Bella knew he was no longer human.

She stood there and looked after him for quite some time. "I lied Jacob," she whispered to herself. "But you deserve better."

* * *

She stared at the ceiling that night from her bed. She had cried everything out and refused to answer Charlie's questions when he asked her what had happened between her and Jacob.

She was pretty sure she was at the lowest point she'd ever been in.

She flipped open her stupid, irritating cell phone and punched in Edward's number.

"Bella? What on earth is going on? Alice has been saying that your future keeps disappearing—"

"Edward," Bella cut him off, her voice raw and hoarse, "will you please book me on a flight to Rhode Island tomorrow? I want to get out of this place."


	12. Forwards

**A/N: Okay, this is by far my favorite chapter of the whole story. I really hope everyone likes it and please review!**

* * *

Bella was wandering along that hallway again, her ballet slippers making no noise against the hardwood floor.

But this time things were a little bit different. The sun shone brightly through the windows and there was no doubt in her mind that she was back in Phoenix. There was only one picture sitting on top of the mantel above the fire, but Bella couldn't quite reach it. She stretched out her arm and stood on her tip toes, and her fingertips could just brush the wooden frame surrounding the picture—

Another hand snatched it away from her, and once again Renee held out a picture in front of Bella.

It wasn't a wedding photo. She and Jacob were sitting at their usual spot at First Beach. His arm was around her and she was leaning into his chest with her eyes closed and a smile of contentment on her face. Jacob was kissing her windblown hair and everything just seemed so…simple.

"You look so peaceful Bella," her mother said softly. "So peaceful and content." She smiled sadly down at her. "I just wish you could be _happy _Bella. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"But I thought I wanted Edward…"

Bella was surprised that she had managed to speak. But it was a thought that had been pressing on her for quite sometime. She had thought she wanted Edward, but she had never felt so confused or thrown since she had come back to Forks.

Renee handed the picture to Bella. "Oh but sweetie, didn't you ever read my emails? It's not about what you want, but what you need." She started to fade again, and Bella knew she was about to wake up…

"Looks like what you want _is _what you need…"

* * *

The rain hammered against her bedroom window as Bella placed her last necessities into a duffel bag. Her plane ticket was sitting next to her purse and she did everything within her power to keep herself from looking at it.

"Hey Bella," Charlie said. She turned around to find him standing in her doorway, eyeing her duffel bag and plane ticket. "You, uh, sure you wanna go back so soon?"

Bella gave a sharp nod. "Yes." She slung her bag over her shoulder and grabbed her plane ticket, still refusing to look at it, and her purse. "My flight leaves in three hours and it'll take me an hour to drive there so…I better get going."

Charlie sighed as he walked forward to pull her into a hug. "Well, be careful. And make sure you come back to visit soon."

Bella forced herself not to cry. She had done enough of that over the past 24 hours. "Okay dad. Edward and I will come back to Forks in about a month or so."

Charlie pulled out of their hug. "Alright Bells." He paused for a moment and eyed her carefully. "Did you, uh, plan to say goodbye to Jake?"

"No," Bella said sharply.

Charlie shook his head. "He's been a good friend to you Bella, you should take time to—"

"I know dad," Bella interrupted, "but right now I just…I can't okay? I'll send him an email or something."

Charlie nodded slowly. "Well okay then Bells. Have a good flight."

"Thanks dad."

* * *

Ten minutes later Bella was on the highway, and she could barely keep the steering wheel straight because her hands were shaking so badly.

Her dreams always _meant _something. And it really seemed like her mother was telling her to go back to Jacob.

_Go back to Jacob._

The words sent a thrill down her spine. _But he deserves better, _she reminded herself. He deserved better then someone like her, someone who played with his feelings like she always seemed to be doing.

But…

She loved him.

"Damn it!" She cried out, slamming her fist onto the steering wheel, accidently honking her horn. She jumped at the sound of it, and then after straightening her truck out, she finally began to cry.

"_Looks like what you want __is__ what you need…"_

What was she doing?

After checking the rearview mirror to make sure no one was behind her, Bella slammed on her brakes and quickly turned the truck around in the direction of La Push.

* * *

It was pouring down rain as she drove past the local general store and the first few houses of La Push. Bella squinted through her windshield and windshield wipers for any sign of Jacob. She turned onto the back road that headed towards the Black's house, and woods surrounded her on either side.

That's where she spotted him. He was leaning up against a tree in nothing but his cutoffs and he was letting the rain pelt his bare skin. Bella yanked the truck onto the shoulder of the road and turned off the engine. She scrambled out of the car, barely taking time to close the door.

"Jacob! I need to—"

"Shouldn't you be on a flight back to your fiancé right now?" he asked, not bothering to open his eyes.

"Jacob _please_ I really want to—"

"I don't want to talk to you Bella." And with that, he pushed himself off the tree and began to stride into the woods. Bella immediately walked forward and grabbed his hand, yanking him around so that he would face her.

"_Listen to me Jacob! _I have to tell you what I'm feeling—"

"Are you _serious?_" Jacob exclaimed as he pulled his hand out of hers. His disbelieving eyes bored into hers. "Why do you keep doing this to be Bella? _**Stop doing this to me**_!"

"What do you—"

"Stop yanking me around like I'm some kind of rag doll! This is the second time you've done this to me! You tell me you love me, you kiss me, you let me believe that maybe we have a chance, and then you _go back to him. _You always go back to _him._"

"Jacob, please…" Bella muttered weakly. Tears were mixing in with raindrops as they trailed down her cheeks.

"Do you want to know how I got to your mother's funeral?"

Bella's head jerked up, surprise and confusion washing across her face. "What are you talking—"

"I _knew _as soon as Charlie said he was going to Jacksonville for the funeral that Edward wouldn't be able to go. I couldn't _stand _the thought of you at that funeral all by yourself. The thought of you suffering alone _killed me. _It _kills me._ And you know… I told myself that it wasn't worth it, that after everything that happened, that it wasn't worth it. But you know what Bella? You _are _worth it to me. So I called your fiancé and begged him to send me the money I would need to put myself on a plane to Jacksonville and be there for you."

Bella was sobbing now, her heart breaking in half for the boy, no, the _man _in front of her who was willing to put himself on the line for someone who absolutely didn't deserve it. "I remember," she choked out, "he answered the phone because he didn't want me to have to talk to anyone."

"I'm sure you don't remember him telling me 'no'."

Bella's mouth dropped open. She couldn't even imagine what it would have been like if Jacob hadn't shown up. And wouldn't Edward have understood how important any kind of support for her would have been at that time? She clenched her fists, feeling angry and betrayed. "What? But he wouldn't do that… I thought…"

Jacob smiled bitterly. "He told me that 'making an appearance at your mother's funeral would be too much for you to handle during your time of grief'."

Bella shook her head in disbelief. "So then how did you—"

"I was prepared to phase and run across the country, but then the blonde called. She lent me the money. Said she wanted what was best for you."

Bella choked out another sob. "Jacob I'm so sorry! I didn't know!" She couldn't get any more words out, she was crying so hard. She shivered. Her dripping hair was sticking to her face and neck, and her sodden clothes clung to her. She was soaked to the bone.

"Do you want to know what the worst part is?" Jacob said, ignoring her apology. "The worst part is, after _everything_, I still love you." He shook his head sadly. "I love you Bella. I just wish I could be what you needed." Then he turned his back on her and started to walk away from her again.

Desperation tightening its grip on her, Bella ran forward and threw her arms around him, her face buried in his exposed back. "Jacob I lied! I lied about loving Edward and still wanting to be with him! I love _you._"

He whirled around, breaking the grip she had on him. "What."

"I love you Jacob. I'm an _idiot _for taking this long to figure it out but, but you're what I _need. _I love you so much and I can't even fathom what I would have done these past few weeks if you hadn't _been there _for me and I… I don't deserve you! You deserve someone who doesn't _do what I've done to you_. And despite what you say I'm _not _worth it-"

Jacob leaned forward and cupped her dripping face in his burning hands. "Bella, you'll _always_ be worth all the bullshit, no matter what," he whispered.

"Jacob…" she whispered back, "I don't understand how you could feel that way, but I _love _you and I _need _you—"

He was kissing her, his rough hands gently pulling her small body into his. The warmth made her gasp and she shivered as he trailed his scorching finger tips up and down her spine. He pulled away from her and eyed the truck. "Let's get somewhere dry." Clinging to each other they both moved toward the truck, and Jacob opened the passenger's door and let her climb inside. He crammed himself in beside her. The rain continued to pound against the roof and the clamoring noise reverberated throughout the truck.

"Say that again please Bella."

"What?" Bella said, out of breath. She watched as Jacob's fingers unzipped her out of her drenched hoodie and tossed it onto the dashboard.

"Say what you just said. I want to hear it again."

Bella smiled. "What? I love you and I need you?"

Jacob closed his eyes. "Yeah, that," he said with a smile as he leaned in and began to plant soft kisses on Bella's neck. She moved her hands into his hair, tilting her neck so that he could better reach her throat and shoulder. His hands traveled up and down her body and Bella wished he would take the opportunity to pull off her soaking shirt as well. Jacob's thoughts seemed to be following the same pattern as he grabbed the hem of her shirt and began to push it up her stomach.

Then Bella's phone rang.

"Absolutely not," Jacob growled. He snatched up her ringing phone before she could even look at it. "I'm telling Captain Cockblock to _fuck off._" He went to open the phone when he frowned and narrowed his eyes. "It's not his number though."

Bella pulled the phone out of his hand and answered it. "Hello?"

"Is this Bella Swan?"

"This is she." Bella sat up and glanced at Jacob, and they exchanged a look of concern.

"Bella, it's deputy Wade. I have some unsettling news. It's about your dad. Charlie's currently in the hospital right now. I'm afraid he hit a deer while patrolling today."

All Bella knew from at that moment was Jacob flooring the truck in the direction of Forks, and all she could wonder was how her emotions could jump from dejection to elation to devastation all in less than two hours.


	13. Break

**A/N: Well, I'm afraid this story is almost done. This is the next to last chapter **

**Review and let me know what you thought!**

* * *

"He's going to be alright Bella," Jacob whispered into her ear. He and Bella were sitting outside Charlie's hospital room. It was still pouring down rain outside and the sun was setting.

All Bella could do was nod.

Charlie had a broken arm, a couple of broken ribs, and bruises and scratches on his face and upper body from when the deer had broken through the windshield. Considering how fatal hitting a deer could be, her dad was lucky.

Or at least that's what the doctor had said.

"Hey Bells? Are you hungry at all?" Jacob asked. Bella shook her head into his chest. She was curled up in his lap, and he was rubbing soothing circles into her back. She had cried out all her tears hours ago, but she felt so broken and spent. Today had been so emotional. She just wanted to sit there.

Jacob sighed. "Do you mind if I go and get something then?" Bella shook her head again. He gently maneuvered her into the seat next to him and kissed her forehead. "I'll be back in a minute okay?"

She mustered up a small smile for him and nodded again. "Thanks for staying with me Jake." He smiled back at her before turning and walking down the hallway in search of the cafeteria.

She leaned her head against the wall. She couldn't believe she almost lost her remaining parent today. The thought made her nauseous. But at least…

At least she had told Jacob how she felt. She felt that warm tingling sensation in the pit of her stomach and a small smile tugged at her lips. But then…

She still had to tell Edward about her new revelation. The warm sensation disappeared and she frowned. That was going to be hard, because although she knew she loved Jacob, she still cared about Edward, just not in the way she had before.

"Bella," came a smooth voice.

She froze before opening her eyes and peering up at the owner of the voice. "Edward," she said, her surprise showing in her tone.

He gave her a tight smile. "We need to talk."

* * *

He was sitting on the floor across from her, watching her every movement intently. Bella had forgotten the feeling of being analyzed at every moment. She hadn't missed it. "I still don't understand why you're here…"

He sighed and shook his head, as if the answer to her question should've been obvious to her. "Alice didn't see you get on the plane, so I decided to come to you instead."

"Oh."

He frowned at her. "Do you want to tell me why you didn't get on the plane, Bella?"

"Do you want to tell me why you told Jacob he couldn't be there for me at my mom's funeral?"

Edward raised his eyebrows. "I'm assuming he told you, then? Bella, I did what I did because I wanted to protect you. I mean, _look at what's happened_ Bella. You never answer my calls, you ignore my messages, Alice can't see your future anymore because it involves _him._ I thought…I thought we were past all of this?"

Bella sighed. She suddenly didn't want to sit still anymore. Edward continued to follow her every movement as she stood up and began to pace in front of him. "I guess we weren't," she said after a beat.

In a flash, Edward was right in front of her. There was an emotion in his dark eyes that she couldn't pinpoint. "I don't understand," he snapped, disgruntled. "Everyone dies eventually Bella. I thought you understood that you were going to have to lose people when you said you wanted to be with me."

Bella blinked up at him in confusion. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

He raked a hand through his already tousled hair. "Your _mom_, Bella. Weren't you prepared to lose her when you picked me? She was going to die one day anyway. I just…I literally don't understand!"

_She was going to die one day anyway. _The way he said it hit Bella like a ton of bricks. She opened her mouth to say something, horrified that he could be so insensitive, but the look on his face stopped her. He looked so distraught. The words came to Bella more easily then she would have thought. "You've never really lost anyone, have you?"

He shook his head before grabbing her hand. "Bella, I thought I had lost you at one point. You know that. I can't imagine losing you again."

"But you didn't really lose me though. You never had to suffer through the pain of losing someone you really love, the aftermath of it all." She looked up at him sadly. "You don't even remember losing anyone in your human life, do you?"

He stared down at her for a moment before letting go of her hand and turning away from her. "No Bella, I don't."

"Then you can't understand how losing someone can change your…perspective on things. Can make you realize what you need…what _I need_."

It was the only way she could think of breaking it to him gently. He looked back down at her, comprehension dawning on his face. "Bella… I love you. Please…" He closed his eyes and ducked his head. "You're the only reason why I'm still here."

Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. She moved forward and wrapped him into a hug. His arms moved to hug her as well, and she imitated Jacob and started rubbing circles into his back. He automatically sniffed at her hair for a moment before tilting his head away. He could smell the wolf on her. And then, quite suddenly, he bent his head down and kissed her.

It was cold and very sweet. But not sweet like Jacob's kisses, where he showed such tenderness and desire. No, this kiss was _literally _sweet, as in Bella felt as if she was kissing a lollipop. A memory somewhere told her that she used to enjoy this, but Bella wanted the _heat _now. Jacob's kisses had melted the ice.

She pulled away immediately.

Edward's hands fell away from her and he stared down at her with an unreadable expression. _He_ had always been the one to pull away from _her. _It had never been the other way around, until now. He nodded in understanding before squeezing his eyes shut. "Do you love him?"

"I've _loved _him. For a long time now."

He pulled her into a hug again and inhaled her scent, seeming to ignore the fact that Jacob was mixed in there now. "Oh Bella," he breathed. "I'll go then, if that's what you want. Just know that I _love _you."

"I know you love me Edward," she said, her voice muffled by his chest. "But, things _change." _She felt him nod. "I'm so sorry, but…" she searched for the right words. "Maybe I'm not what _you _need. I'm so…sorry to…do this to…you…you don't…deserve it," her voice was breaking up from her tears. And then, before she completely lost it, she pulled her engagement ring out of her pocket and pressed it into his palm.

Her sobs began to echo around the small hallway, but before she could step away from him, Edward pulled her back into his embrace. "Don't feel sorry Bella, you can't help who you love." Now _he _was trying to soothe _her,_ which only made her more frustrated. This always seemed to happen.

"Um, I think I can take it from here." In an instant Edward let go of her and stepped back, his arms falling to his sides, one fist clutching his ring. Bella felt Jacob step by her as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gently pulled her into him. "You okay Bells?"

"She'll be fine," Edward answered for her before Bella could say anything. He looked Jacob straight in the eye. "She has what she needs now."

Jacob nodded at him and Edward turned and began to head back down the hallway where he had come from. "Oh and Jacob?" He said over his shoulder. "Don't ever hurt her." The threat hung in the air as he turned the corner.

Jacob looked down at Bella, who was wiping the tears out of her eyes. "Don't worry," he said softly, "that'll never happen."

* * *

They had been sitting together for a solid hour, neither of them saying a word.

"Are you mad at me Jacob?" Bella asked softly.

He stirred, surprised that she had spoken. "No, Bella. Why would I be mad?"

She frowned. "Because you haven't said anything to me in the past hour."

It was his turn to frown. "Oh… I thought you didn't want to talk?"

"Why wouldn't I want to talk?"

Jacob cocked an eyebrow. "Because you just broke up with your fiancé." His voice softened considerably. "I know that was very hard for you Bella."

Bella sighed before leaning her head on his shoulder. "It wasn't exactly _easy_, but it was _worth it_."

She felt Jake kiss her forehead.

* * *

Two days later Bella was helping a limping Charlie through the front door of their home. Summer was starting to show itself because for the first time in months the temperature had gone past 68 in Forks.

Bella kicked the front door shut behind her. "Okay dad, do you want to go upstairs and lay down or do you want to sit on the couch?"

"The couch will be fine Bells," he said with a strained voice. His broken left arm was in a cast by his side, and his torso was heavily bandaged. Bella gripped his right arm and steered him towards the couch, making sure to hand him the remote as soon as she got him settled.

"Thanks for staying to take care of me Bella," he said slowly, grimacing because of the physical pain he was in. "I know you'd—" another wince, "prefer to be spending your time with Edward rather then taking care of your old man, but—"

"Actually dad, I need to tell you something about Edward and I," she interrupted as she sat on the edge of the couch by his feet. "We um…broke up."

Charlie's eyes widened before he quickly turned his head away so Bella wouldn't see him smile, causing a hiss of pain to escape him. "Any specific reason why?" she heard him grumble.

"Um…yes."

Charlie glanced over at her before resting his head against a pillow Bella had propped up for him. "Tell Jacob I owe him."

* * *

The small ocean waves swirled around their bare feet as they walked along First Beach.

"Charlie says he owes you," Bella said, reaching out and grabbing Jacob's hand. He entwined his fingers with hers and gave them a squeeze. "That so?," he said, turning to Bella and grinning.

She nodded, smiling back at him. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I owe you too, really."

He shook his head.

"Yes I do Jake," Bella insisted, moving closer to him, "you put me back together _again. _You have a tendency of doing that, doing what I need."

Jacob's eyes scanned her face before resting on her lips. He leaned down and let his lips hover over hers, so close she could feel his breath on her face. She leaned forward, her lips brushing his.

He yanked back suddenly, and with a grin splashed a handful of ocean water onto her. She gasped as the cold water hit her warm skin.

His lips were back by hers just as quickly as they had disappeared. "Well Bells, right now I think _both _need to get wet." And then he pulled her into the ocean along with him. Bella couldn't help but laugh.


	14. Together

**A/N: Alas, this is the final chapter. This story has been a lot of fun to write! This is a special moment for me, because this is the first multi-chapter story that I've legitimately completed.**

**This chapter is short and sweet, but I hope it brings a satisfying conclusion for everyone! Please remember to review!**

* * *

SIX MONTHS LATER

Bella pushed opened up the window that was in the living room of her mother's home. Well, it was actually her home now. It may have been December, but it was 66 degrees outside, cool for Arizona, but warm for the rest of the country.

Moving back to Phoenix had been as much Jacob's idea as her own. He needed to finish his senior year of high school, and she needed to go back to college. And since she owned a house conveniently located near Phoenix College, the school she had planned to go to before she had moved to Forks, moving back to Arizona seemed the logical thing to do. Jacob, sensing that she needed to do something on her own for once, encouraged her to do it.

Not being able to see him everyday was a bitch, however.

But he would be there soon. His semester had ended the day before, and he was driving down to Phoenix today. Her heart sped up at the thought of seeing him.

She picked up the picture that had come in the mail yesterday. Billy had sent it. She reached up and put it on top of the mantel, next to the _other _picture. She had just lined them up when someone burst through the front door.

"Bells, I need you in my arms _right now._"

There was no need for him to ask twice. Jacob bear hugs had been one of the many things she had craved and missed.

"Jake I missed you!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck. His heat engulfed her, and she briefly wondered how they would _ever _survive a Phoenix summer together. She smiled to herself. They would figure it out.

She felt him sigh. "I missed you too Bells. But, you know what?" He pulled away from her and grinned down at her. "I'm _here_ with _you _in _your _house, and we're _alone_, and Christmas is in two weeks! And I'm pretty sure The Santa Clause is on TV right now and I fucking _love _that movie and…and…God Bells I missed you so much." He leaned down and kissed her, his hands gently pressed up against the small of her back. Bella ran her hands through his hair, which had grown past is chin.

After a moment she pulled away. "Jacob, I, uh, have an early present for you."

He blinked down at her. "Really?"

She nodded and then bit her lip before grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the mantel above the fireplace. "It's supposed to be symbolic, um, I hope you don't mind? I asked Billy for the picture and he sent it to me. I hope…I hope it means as much to you as it does to me."

Jacob's wide eyes kept traveling between the two pictures and Bella.

The picture to the right was of Bella and her mother. Bella had had a dance recital that evening and Renee was putting a little bit of makeup on her in preparation for the event. Bella was sitting on top of the bathroom counter, her back to the mirror, in the most ridiculous tutu ever. Renee had accidently smudged lipstick on Bella's cheek, and the picture had caught Bella's mother throwing her head back with laughter. Bella was staring at the camera looking none too thrilled. It was the first picture that Renee would show guests whenever they'd visit the house. Every time she looked at it she had laughed.

The picture to the left was of Jacob and his mother. Bella realized upon looking at this picture that Jacob had her expressive eyes and contagious smile. They were both grinning at the camera, and a seven year old Jacob was holding up an eagle feather proudly. His mother had her arms wrapped around him, her head on top of his. Jacob's hair was pulled back, and there was mud on his and his mother's cheeks, but they both looked so happy and carefree. Billy said it was one of his favorite pictures of Sarah, Jake's mother. Bella could see why, she looked absolutely beautiful.

The two pictures sat side by side, complimenting each other.

"Bella," Jacob whispered as he ran his finger gently along the frame of the picture of him and his mother. "This is…amazing. Thank you."

Bella wrapped an arm around his torso. "I thought it was appropriate, given everything that's happened."

Jacob planted a kiss on top of her head. "I wish they could have met," he said softly.

"Would it be cheesy to say that they've already met in heaven?" Bella whispered, snuggling into Jacob's chest.

"Yeah. But that's okay Bells, I like cheese," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "But really Bella, thank you. This means a lot."

"I did it because you mean a lot to _me." _Bella pulled away slightly and looked up at him. "Listen Jacob, you still have a few months to go before you graduate, but I was wondering, after you do…would you maybe consider—"

"Coming here for college and living with you?" he finished for her.

Bella blushed. "Well I mean you don't _have _to live with me. I know you might want the 'living in a dorm room and getting drunk on the weekends' college experience so—"

"Nope. I'd rather chillax here with you. And maybe get drunk on the weekends _occasionally_."

Bella smacked him in the shoulder playfully. "Well, good. I'm glad you're going to come here then."

Jacob grinned. "I am too."

Bella glanced at their surroundings. "So what do you want to do now?"

Jacob's face lit up. "Did I mention The Santa Clause was on TV earlier? Because I fucking _love _that movie." He grabbed her hand and began to tow her to the couch. Bella laughed at his enthusiasm for Christmas movies. She looked back over her shoulder at the pictures.

Even though both their mothers were gone, they had provided Bella and Jacob what they had needed: love, protection, understanding, and in a way, they had provided Jacob and Bella with _each other. _They were together and side by side now, just like the two pictures. Always giving in to each other's wants and knowing the other's _needs._


End file.
